Taking a leap of faith is never easy, at least not for me. There have been so many "what if's" and so many "not yets". For years I have doubted my abilities. I decided for myself that with no college degree, two kids, and the fact that I'm closer to 40 than 30, that my career in retail management would have to suffice. I made great money and the whole family is insured. Why put the stability of my family in jeopardy all because I want to chase a dream?!
I began Newtexacali as place to cultivate my creativity while out of work after my daughter (now 3) was born. I saw all of these other fashion bloggers and I wanted exactly what they had. Not in a superficial way. I wanted the work! I wanted to create amazing content for brands so badly that I would stay up all night studying them. I was green with envy because I wanted a piece of the pie too! Right as I began to really dive into the blogger world, we hit a road block. My husband was let go from his job. I quickly took on a position that required all of my time and energy. As you may know retail in Oct-Jan is a beast. I was pulled in so many different directions and it was exhausting. So exhausting that I was recently hospitalized (see FAQ's blog post).
I knew at this point I needed to make a decision, not only for my health but for myself. I had a long discussion with my husband about walking in your passion and pursuing your purpose. He said to me "I don't understand why you haven't quit yet??" I initially wondered why he didn't say this before the ambulance ride to the hospital, It was an "ah-ha" moment as Mama O would say. I understood in that moment that I have a safety net, and not just a financial one. I have a spiritual and emotional safety net in my family and in my faith. so guess what?!.......
I quit the long mall nights for even longer nights, but now it doesn't feel like work! It feels scary but rewarding. It's kind of like when you are about to give birth. You can anticipate the pain because you know thats the only way to get the baby! You also know that raising the baby will bring it's own set of challenges but you are willing to take on each one of them! I guess you can say I have given birth to my new full-time job! I am the proud new mommy of a full time blog!
"YOU HAVE BRAINS IN YOUR HEAD.
YOU HAVE FEET IN YOUR SHOES.
YOU CAN STEER YOURSELF IN ANY DIRECTION YOU CHOOSE.
YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT YOU KNOW.
YOU ARE THE GUY WHO'LL DECIDE WHERE TO GO."